Cowgirl Education: a Camden Ranch Novel by Jillian Neal

Author:Jillian Neal [Neal, Jillian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781940174389
Publisher: Realm Press
Published: 2016-10-17T21:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Five

Dec could have told her she wasn’t thinking straight or that she was being overly emotional. Hell, he could have told her she just wasn’t old enough to have the cynicism required to understand why this was a terrible idea, why he was a terrible idea. But he couldn’t access any of those words. He couldn’t lie to her, and somewhere deep in the recesses of his soul, he knew she was right. It had taken every ounce of strength housed in his ample musculature to rebuke her earlier in the day. He couldn’t do it again. He just didn’t have the strength. His heart, which he’d noted seemed to have returned to its cage as soon as she was back in his arms, wouldn’t allow it.

Her tears pierced his skin like jagged blades, yet suddenly he could breathe. Every tremble of her body shook his soul, yet he felt whole for the first time since early that morning. And the burning craving that slithered constantly beneath his skin, resided in defeat. The demons recognized their warden. He would never allow her to go to London with him for any reason. There were far too many crypts in London where he might fall. Together, they would make this work.

“When I was in rehab, one of my counselors used to say that life is just like walking a tightrope. You can run across it or you can take it slowly, calculating each step. The only thing you can’t do is stand still. We don’t have to stand still, but I need you to understand that I cannot go back to London for so many reasons, but the number one reason is that I cannot be that far away from you. No flirting in class just because it would be fun. We take no chances. None at all. I cannot lose you, Holly.” She shuddered against him and he held her tighter. “By the way, I love you, too.”

“Promise?” she managed in a timid squeak.

Smiling was such an odd feeling given his day, but a broad grin spread the width of his face. “Promise. And I really like your cowgirl side. I’d like to see a lot more of that.”

“That can definitely be arranged.”

“I was hoping.”

“We have to have some rules, if you’re sure you want to do this.”

“I doubt everything in my life, Dec. I always have. I second guess things. Should I give up on getting my doctorate and go back to the ranch because so much of me is in that land? Should I sell my portion of the ranch to my family and move here permanently? Once I graduate and get a job, I won’t be able to work the ranch anymore, and that kills me. I never want to leave the ranch, but I want to be a therapist. I have no idea what I want to do moment to moment, but I swear to you I have not one single doubt about you and me.”

Every word washed over him in a healing tide, mending his battered soul, suturing his heart, curing him.

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